Saying “No” Stems from Self-Worth

teen drinking peer pressure

We are taught from a young age to say no. We are told it’s okay to stand up for ourselves and go against the crowd, especially when it comes to drugs and alcohol. But when we are put in a position where it’s time to say no, it can feel difficult, scary, and at times, impossible. Why is saying no to drugs and alcohol so difficult?

It’s not easy to go against the masses, especially at an age where everything feels like life or death and fitting in is what helps you survive the day. But when we choose another person’s path, their perspective over ours, we diminish our own and project negativity into our future. It means we are too afraid to put ourselves first. To get a better understanding of what this looks like, let’s look at an example.

Jayden loves to draw and desperately wants to get into art school so he can become a successful graphic designer. However, his group of friends is not as motivated. They don’t hate on him for his dreams, but they aren’t doing anything to better Jayden’s future. Jayden’s friends drink most nights of the week and smoke weed every day. Jayden used to think the weed helped him with his creativity, but now, it just makes him tired and lethargic. He hasn’t been drawing every day like he used to, and he’s noticed changes in his work. He wants to tell his friends that he doesn’t want to smoke anymore, but he’s afraid they won’t want to be his friend if he does.

What’s Jayden’s main concern?

He’s afraid he will lose friends if he stands up for himself and says no. It may not seem like it but saying no stems from self-worth. He has the first part down by knowing he doesn’t want to continue the behavior, and he knows the behavior is harming his future. But Jayden is afraid of the possibility of walking away from his friend group. He’s putting more value on his friends and their opinions over his own well-being.

Let’s say Jayden’s worst fear comes true, that his friend group won’t hang out with him anymore. Are they really Jayden’s friends if they are willing to throw the friendship away over drugs? Absolutely not. If he does choose to walk away, it will be a blessing in disguise because it’s clear these friends aren’t loyal and caring. Some may even go so far as to say that rejection is protection. If Jayden does lose the friend group, it might make him sad and lonely at first, but the change can lead to new friends who are like-minded, supportive and encourage creativity. Wouldn’t you say Jayden is better off?

Here’s where most of us get stuck. We only think of the worst-case scenario, but when we do this, we forget about the other possibilities. What if Jayden tells his friends and they support him? What if they think it’s a great idea? Part of this scenario is about the integrity of his friends, but it also goes back to Jayden’s self-worth. If he believes in himself and knows he is a valuable friend, then it doesn’t matter if his friends choose to stay or leave because Jayden knows he will be successful and find new friends that truly care about him. But if his friends choose to stay, then he can continue building relationships with them as he grows and changes.

This is the key takeaway when it comes to connecting to your life’s purpose.

It’s about taking care of you and putting you first. When you do that, the rest will fall into place. This can seem scary because friends and hobbies can change, but doesn’t it seem worth it to do the things that are important to you? When we have confidence, when we believe in our convictions, and when we know we don’t want to do something, we find the strength to say no and walk away. That’s not to say the moment isn’t scary. It means we value ourselves more than the approval of others.

It’s Okay to Not Go to the Party

It’s okay to not go to the party, it’s okay to not accept the drink, and it’s okay to call home for a ride if you get stuck in a sticky situation. What’s not okay is dropping down to the level of others and saying yes simply because it feels easier. It’s okay to listen to the voice inside your heart and honor its wishes, even if it means losing friends in the process. It’s about realizing that sometimes we have to make sacrifices to gain the life we are dreaming of.

It can feel like life or death when it comes to saying no, and that’s okay! If you or an adolescent you know struggles with boundaries that are leading to addiction, professional help is always a great option. The Bougainvilla House offers adolescent behavioral health programs for individuals and families.

Call us today to see how we can help 954-764-7337,
or use our convenient Contact form.

Vaping and Teens

Vaping is certainly not a new phenomenon, but e-cigarette use has become increasingly popular over the past two years. Sometimes referred to as “Juuling”, a term coined after people began using the Juul brand e-cigarette device, vaping is the inhaling and exhaling of a blend of nicotine, flavorings, and other chemicals as a vapor.

There is a common, but inaccurate, belief that e-cigarettes contain fewer chemicals than traditional cigarettes, so they are said to be less harmful. This is likely why there has been quite a boom in e-cigarette sales across the nation – and why this has become more popular with teens in particular.

The sudden increase in vaping amongst teens has taken the medical community by surprise. A study done by the University of Michigan found that nearly one in three high school students in the U.S. has tried vaping in the past year. That number may grow as e-cigarette companies have begun to broaden their appeal and market products specifically for teens and young adults. With a wide array of flavors to choose from, the trend shows no sign of slowing anytime soon.

Many parents have become concerned about their teenaged children vaping, and this is with good reason. There are plenty of concerns and risks to consider. E-cigarettes contain nicotine, which is highly addictive. As teens still have developing brains and bodies, it is far easier for them to get “hooked” on substances.

Also, e-cigarettes still contain potentially toxic chemicals. While they haven’t been around long enough to conduct thorough long-term studies about their effects on the body, doctors, researchers, and others have unequivocally stated that e-cigarettes are not safe for teens and young adults. There is also the risk of poisoning, device explosions, and allergic reactions. There have been cases where e-cigarettes are laced with illegal drugs.

If your teen or young adult is vaping, and you are concerned about their safety, here are some tips regarding how you should approach the issue:

Have Honest Conversations

As teens and young adults are still forming habits, impulse control, and experiencing several changes throughout their brains and bodies, it is critical that you approach the issue without engaging in a “lecture”. Ask them questions about vaping that are not accusatory. If you pass someone vaping, ask your teen what they think about it. Begin with open-ended questions that spark conversations.

Also, be prepared to have honest conversations about the risks involved. Teens tend to be more impulsive than adults, so your teen may not be considering the long-term effects of e-cigarettes. Discuss the fact that there are many unknowns about vaping, and that doctors have decided that it is not a healthy habit. Be clear about your expectations, but open to an exchange of ideas.

If your teen mentions that “everyone is doing it” or that “vaping is safer than smoking” you can face these comments with facts easily. The truth is that most teens in the U.S. do not vape, and while e-cigarettes do contain fewer chemicals, they still contain nicotine and toxic substances. No long-term studies have been done yet to assess the likelihood of illnesses like cancers, addiction, breathing problems, or the effects of vaping on young brains. Just because something is popular doesn’t make it safe or healthy.

Role Modeling

Teens and young adults are often more aware of their surroundings than you think. If you vape or you smoke, remember that they are watching and will consider your actions as an “approval” of whatever they choose to do. If you do intend to keep vaping, keep your devices secured and try to vape away from their presence.

Seek Professional Help

If you feel that your teen or young adult is experiencing issues with vaping that make you feel frustrated or overwhelmed, or if you feel like their habits are standing in the way of success, it may be time to seek professional help. The Bougainvilla House offers comprehensive therapy for teens and young adults dealing with substance use or behavioral issues, all in a safe, supportive environment.

If you would like to learn more about our services, visit our website today at https://tbhcares.org/, or call our caring team at 954-764-7337 and schedule an appointment. We are committed to giving you and your teen or young adult the tools needed to succeed and thrive.

Bullying

Bullying amongst adolescents and teenagers has been going on, in one form or another, since the beginning of human relations. Unfortunately, we have only really established the ability to engage in a serious dialogue about the negative effects of bullying since the early 2000’s. In 2005, the first data on bullying began to be collected by the federal government and at this time, according to the US Department of Education, the prevalence of bullying was shown to be at approximately 28%. As of 2016, the National Center for Education Statistics reported that the prevalence rate had dropped to 20.8%, showing that while bullying overall has shown a decrease, the prevalence of it in middle and high schools is still 1 out of every 5 children.

The Effects of Bullying
Although overall, we may be seeing a decline in bullying nationwide, we cannot afford to become content with these numbers as just one instance of bullying can be a traumatic event for the victim. Generally speaking, victims of bullying do not experience one instance but rather on average, experience bullying at least 1-2 times per week. Bullying can induce a myriad of horrific effects on the victim such as increased isolation, shame, low self-esteem, anxiety, decreased performance in school, and symptoms of depression. Due to the consistent and persistent nature of bullying that is left without intervention, the long-term effects of bullying include potential PTSD, anxiety and depressive disorders, substance abuse, loss of trust, and even an engagement in self-harm as well as suicide. While there are some individuals who argue that bullying behavior can be a natural part of growing up, and they may be right, this notion doesn’t provide solutions for the victims and families who experience very real suffering due this type of behavior left unchecked.


What Are Some Possible Solutions To Bullying?

As the ability to engage in open dialogue about the effects of bullying becomes more realistic, we ought to first look at assertive communication as a primary mode of recourse. Typically, the bully has some real or perceived advantage over the victim which is manifested through physical strength, verbal aggression, or intimidation techniques. Bullies look for what they believe to be individuals who are weak-willed, shy, or defenseless; one way we can fortify ourselves against this kind of susceptibility is to let the bully know, verbally, that we will not stand by and be victimized. The “Three Strikes” rule is effective because it communicates to the bully that we will not stand passively by and allow this behavior. Upon the first incidence of bullying we let them know that this is unacceptable and will not be tolerated; upon the second incident, we communicate that should this happen again, we will notify the relevant authorities. Often times, this will signal to the bully that we will not stand for this treatment, and also that we are willing to make it difficult for them to continue this behavior without punishment. Clearly, this is not a catch-all solution, however, the establishment of confident and assertive language in the potential victim is often enough to deter further attempts at bullying.

Victims Become Victimizers
One of the most primitive psychological defense mechanisms is what’s known as displacement. This occurs when an individual is stripped of their power through the tyrannical actions of another; they cope with this loss of power by reclaiming it through disempowering another, often times through bullying. In other words, bullies tend to have difficult home lives, often times having to endure abuse and neglect of their parents which they can, in turn, take out on classmates in school. In order to address instances of bullying effectively, it is advantageous to understand the forces driving the bullying behavior, so we look to create a connection with bullies in order to show them compassion and understanding.

Cyberbullying
With the rise and ubiquitous nature of social media in contemporary society, cyberbullying has become a prominent subtype of bullying due to its accessibility, convenience, and potential anonymity. While typical bullying can have its limitations due to the fact that many individuals wouldn’t bully another if it required a face to face engagement with the person, social media allows for individuals who might not otherwise bully to engage in intimidation, slander, and humiliation via a medium that alleviates some personal connection and responsibility. Another reason cyberbullying is arguably as harmful as traditional bullying is due to the tendency for a pack mentality to arise in the context of social media where typical constraints on bad behavior might otherwise be regulated. It creates a landscape where, because of the distance of the interactions, individuals feel less personally responsible for their actions and therefore might act crueler than they would should they be faced with the victim in person.

Where Do We Go from Here?
Now that we have examined the effects of bullying, the possible solutions, and the importance of trying to connect with the victims as well as bullies themselves, what can we do in the meantime? Coordinating and communicating with school administrators in order to understand their bullying policies and what should be done in the event that an individual is bullied is a good place to start. Encouraging our children to speak up when they see bullying is another effective way of combatting bullying as well because it communicates to the victimizer that their behavior will not be tolerated. Finally, it is imperative that we seek the help of professionals, such as The Bougainvillea House, in order to foster open communication and compassion for families and children faced with bullying. Remember, we are not alone and The Bougainvillea House can help!

Avoiding Binge Drinking Culture in College

For many college students, drinking heavily and experimenting with drugs is almost considered a rite of passage. It’s assumed that everybody does it.  That isn’t necessarily the reality, although it can be difficult not drink at college. For those who choose to stay sober, today’s climate of binge drinking can make avoiding alcohol a challenge.

For many college students, drinking heavily and experimenting with drugs is almost considered a rite of passage. It’s assumed that everybody does it.  That isn’t necessarily the reality, although it can be difficult not drink at college. For those who choose to stay sober, today’s climate of binge drinking can make avoiding alcohol a challenge.

The tendency among college students to drink excessively might lead others to think that drinking alcohol in large quantities is the socially accepted norm. Many of their friends may drink or do drugs, so the pressure to participate makes it harder to stay sober.

College is a stressful time for most students. After all, they are not only studying difficult subjects and trying to get their life in order, but they are also dealing with unique personal and romantic problems. Unfortunately, many of these students turn to drugs and alcohol.

When teenagers go to college, they are often away from their parents for the first time in their lives. As a result, they want to impress those people and begin feeling the need to fit in. This is true even for students who avoided alcohol and drugs in high school.

In college, what starts as seemingly harmless experimentation can quickly progress to regular abuse and even addiction. Binge drinking can have many negative consequences for those involved. About 25 percent of college students who frequently binge drink are more likely to miss class and experience a drop in grades. Those who binge drink are also more likely to be involved in vandalism, experience an injury, engage in unplanned and unprotected sex, driving while intoxicated, experience arrests and other legal implications.

Those who would like to maintain their sobriety should take measures to avoid triggers and situations in which heavy drinking is likely to occur. Students should:

 

  • Learn how to say “no” if they don’t want to drink.
  • Volunteer to be the designated driver.
  • Tell friends that you are not drinking.
  • Hold a nonalcoholic drink to cut down on drink offers.
  • Try to engage in school-sponsored activities or help organize sports or other activities for sober people.
  • Have friends that don’t drink.

 

If your child is struggling with alcohol addiction, The Bougainville House can help. We offer individual, couple, and family therapy programs.  Call us to learn more. 954-764-7337

Social Anxiety Among Teens – The Bougainvilla House Cares

Teenage years come with a number of stressors. Social and cultural pressure can take a toll on a teen’s mental health. Social Anxiety among teens is on the rise due to Social Media use, and other modern social pressures. Although most teenagers go through periods of normal anxiety related to the changes that go along with adolescence, those with Social Anxiety Disorder experience fear that is out of proportion to the situations that they face. For some teenagers, social anxiety becomes chronic, affecting school performance, extracurricular activities and the ability to make friends.
Teenage years come with a number of stressors. Social and cultural pressure can take a toll on a teen’s mental health. Social Anxiety among teens is on the rise due to Social Media use, and other modern social pressures. Although most teenagers go through periods of normal anxiety related to the changes that go along with adolescence, those with Social Anxiety Disorder experience fear that is out of proportion to the situations that they face. For some teenagers, social anxiety becomes chronic, affecting school performance, extracurricular activities and the ability to make friends.

Interacting with Peers

Teenagers with social anxiety often have trouble interacting with their peers both in school and in social situations. This can lead to poor performance in school. Students with Social Anxiety can often show the following behaviors:

  • is uncomfortable in group settings
  • has few friends
  • is afraid to start or participate in conversations
  • is afraid to ask others to get together
  • is afraid to call others
  • avoids eye contact
  • speaks softly or mumbles
  • appears to always be “on the fringes”
  • reveals little about him/herself when talking to others

Social Media

Modern technology has made it easier to connect with others throughout the world. With this new accessibility, comes a new set of challenges. Often times young people can hide behind the screen, causing avoidant behaviors in real life.

While social networking sites may help those with social anxiety to more easily initiate and establish social connections, there can be drawbacks as well. These online connections may not be as strong as those created in real life.

On the other hand, social media can give teens a twisted view of reality. On social media, many people present the best version of their lives. This can cause feelings of envy or inadequacy in teens that may already have feelings of social anxiety.

Building Self Esteem

When it comes to reducing feelings of social anxiety, building self-esteem is the best way to reduce feelings of self-doubt. Being generous with praise is a good first step. Teens need to be acknowledged for what they do well.  Commend your child not only for accomplishments but for effort—including those times when it fails to bring the desired results. Teens with social anxiety may feel awkward accepting praise, so make sure the compliments are natural and not forced. It is still ok to criticize the teen when necessary, just try to be constructive, and never speak in a hurtful or demeaning manner.

Encourage your teen to cultivate their talents and interests. Everyone excels at something and helping your teen focus on what they are good at can help develop confidence. Getting involved in activities can also be a great outlet for a socially anxious teen. They can make connections with others that have similar interests. This can give an easy outlet for conversation and social connections.

If you are a parent of a teen that has been struggling with Social Anxiety, professional help is always a great option. The Bougainvilla House offers adolescent behavioral health programs for individuals and families. Contact The Bougainvilla House today to see how we can help. 954-764-7337 Or use our convenient Contact form.

Mental Health Cases Increase, but so do Solutions

If you or a loved one has suffered from mental illness, you know the impact it can have on their life and the lives of people around them. But mental health is one of those things that people often underestimate. For those who don’t have a tangible context for mental illness, it’s critical to remember that it’s not just a feeling in someone’s head. Mental illnesses can seriously impact daily life. More than 18% of adults in the U.S. experience mental illness in a given year and the risk of mental illness is even greater in children. Studies show that over 20% of children, either currently or at some point during their lives, have had a seriously debilitating mental disorder. Mental illness is a frighteningly relevant topic. Thankfully, new studies show that there is also relevant hope.

To understand the progress being made, it’s helpful to understand the actual problem. A mental illness can range from what health professionals define as “Any Mental Illness” (AMI) to “Serious Mental Illness” (SMI).  AMI is defined as a mental, behavioral, or emotional disorder that can vary in impact, ranging from no impairment to mild, moderate, and even severe impairment. SMI is defined as a mental, behavioral, or emotional disorder resulting in a serious functional impairment, which substantially interferes with or limits one or more major life activities. The burden of mental illnesses is particularly concentrated among those who experience disability due to SMI.

The impact is real. But so is the progress towards providing help for those experiencing mental illness.

If you or a loved one has suffered from mental illness, you know the impact it can have on their life and the lives of people around them. But mental health is one of those things that people often underestimate. For those who don’t have a tangible context for mental illness, it’s critical to remember that it’s not just a feeling in someone’s head. Mental illnesses can seriously impact daily life. More than 18% of adults in the U.S. experience mental illness in a given year and the risk of mental illness is even greater in children.

A study published in The Lancet Psychiatry found that 14-year-old adolescents who had contact with mental health services had a greater decrease in depressive symptoms than those with similar difficulties who didn’t have contact. This Cambridge study is believed to be the first study in adolescents to support the role of contact with mental health services in improving mental health by late adolescence. Previous studies had reported that mental health service use has provided little or no benefit to adolescents, but the researchers argue that this might have been because the design of those studies did not consider whether service users had a mental disorder or not. The approach taken on the new Lancet study enabled comparison between people with similar disorders.

The study produced another positive finding, that young people with mental health problems who have contact with mental health care services are significantly less likely to suffer from clinical depression later in their adolescence than those with equivalent difficulties who do not receive treatment.

It’s clear that mental health is not something that can be underestimated any longer, not if over 450 million people around the world live with mental illnesses. It’s also clear that there are steps we can take for those who need help.

Whether we have a personal context for mental health or not, these findings mean we need to focus more efforts and attention on the utilization and improvement of mental health care, because it could change the statistics, and therefore change lives.

THERE IS HOPE! Call 954-764-7337 or email info@tbhcares.org today to get help for your family. Our counseling office is open every day from 10 AM to 8 PM. Our business office is open Monday-Friday , 8:30 AM to 6 PM.

Common Mental Health Disorders Seen in Teenagers

Teenagers who are struggling with addictions would be well advised to undergo screening for mental health disorders, since these two issues commonly go hand-in-hand. This is partially because teens with mental health disorders may attempt to self-medicate with substances of abuse in order to achieve relief from symptoms. Co-existing disorders present unique challenges, but fortunately, rehabs in Fort Lauderdale can offer treatment programs for both issues.

Anxiety Disorders

There are several types of anxiety disorders, ranging from generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) to panic disorder to obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD). Anxiety disorders can significantly reduce quality of life and interfere with a teen’s ability to carry out day to day functions. These disorders can be particularly tricky to diagnose in kids because it can be difficult to differentiate symptoms of a disorder from the normal psychological challenges that occur during the teen years. This is one reason why anxiety disorders in teens often go untreated.

Depressive Disorders

Many teens who have substance abuse problems and anxiety disorders can also have depressive disorders. And much like anxiety disorders, depression is difficult to detect because teens are ordinarily expected to be occasionally moody. When depressive symptoms persist; however, it’s important for parents to consider getting their teen screened. Psychotherapy and other treatments can help adolescents feel more like themselves again.

Schizophrenia

Schizophrenia is a serious mental illness that requires the attention of a trained provider. When adolescents have schizophrenia, they generally display the gradual development of signs and symptoms that can last for about six to nine months. This is known as the prodrome. It can include signs such as social withdrawal, unusual behaviors, substance abuse, paranoia, poor personal hygiene, and obsessiveness regarding philosophical ideas. Schizophrenia is also associated with delusions and hallucinations.

Bipolar Disorder

Bipolar disorder often develops between the ages of 15 and 30. It involves significant mood swings, such as from depressive symptoms to euphoria or mania. The adolescent’s mood may persist for a matter of hours, days, or much longer before it shifts to the opposite end of the spectrum. Teens with bipolar disorder are generally treated with medications and psychotherapy.

Examining Oxycodone Use in Florida

Prescription drug abuse is a significant issue nationwide, but in Florida, it is an epidemic. Ease of access to drugs like oxycodone has led many young people into addiction in Fort Lauderdale and beyond, thanks to the powerfully physical and psychological addictive nature of the substances. Watch this video to see how oxycodone has affected people across Florida.

Oxycodone, prescribed for pain, can cause feelings of euphoria when taken and severe withdrawal symptoms when a user tries to stop. Many young people end up facing oxycodone drug addiction after pilfering legally prescribed pills from their parents. The intensity of oxycodone addiction can be overwhelming and lead teens to crime to support their habits. In some cases, oxycodone addiction leads to heroin addiction, as young people try to get the same feeling as oxycodone at a lower price. Substance abuse treatment is a necessary step in overcoming oxycodone use.

Prescription Medicine Abuse in Teens

In teens, prescription drug abuse is a major problem. Many teens can easily access medications from the family home or from friends. Others use their own medications in a manner other than prescribed by their doctors. Outpatient therapy and family counseling is available to combat this growing addiction problem in the Fort Lauderdale area.

The three common types of medications that may lead to addictions in teens include opioids, depressants, and stimulants. In addition to increasing the risk of an addiction, prescription drug abuse among teens can lead to short-term and long-term health problems. For example, teens who take high doses of opioids run the risk of breathing impairment and death. Stimulant abuse can lead to paranoid behavior, rapid heartbeat, and a dangerously high body temperature. Depressant abuse can cause shallow breathing, slurred speech, and disorientation. At high dosages, depressants can also lead to death. Parents who suspect that their teens may be abusing prescription medications are encouraged to get in touch with a rehab immediately for guidance.

What Is Binge Drinking?

Binge drinking is a serious health risk and societal problem. Individuals who binge drink can benefit from seeking substance abuse treatment near Fort Lauderdale. Often associated with alcoholism, binge drinking is generally defined as the consumption of enough alcohol to elevate blood alcohol concentration (BAC) to 0.08% or higher. In women, this equals about four drinks per occasion. In men, it’s about five drinks per sitting.

You can hear more about alcoholism and binge drinking by watching this video. It explains the many dangers of this form of alcohol abuse. Among other problems, binge drinking encourages dangerous behaviors like drunk driving, unprotected sexual intercourse, and even interpersonal violence. This video also discusses some of the ways that community leaders can discourage binge drinking.